Wednesday, 7 April 2010

How to make your girlfriend hate her celebrity crush


If you wonder how, it’s actually pretty easy. One of these days your girlfriend will go googly-eyed on some gymrat that you’ll likely loathe. Just because he has washboard abs and all you got are stretch marks, rashes, and a ginormous belly, that does not mean that he is the more superior Adonis (haha on the use of a Manila-based gaybar). Hey, it’s alright for a person to have a crush, right.

It’s only a crush… they like the person because he is so star-crossed that your GF befriending him or her (yum) would likely make the heavens turn yellow-orange. Don’t worry if he meets him though because we all know all celebrities are ultra vain. Girls don’t like that. It’s true, right?

Like I said – it’s pretty easy. Perhaps the biggest thing you could wallop to her senses is that you look like her crush. Even if your tummy is bigger than your man-boobs, you say your body is as yummy as her crush! Even if your face has unsavoury patches of facial hair, you say your face is as dreamy as her crush.
I did that to her when she mentioned Daniel Matsunaga and she has began to hate him ever since (Google if you don’t know him).

Sure, for guys with Scandinavian blood, built like a Norse god like me, it’s a bit of a downgrade than an upgrade. It’s not even an act of jealousy. You just do this because you diss her. Mad as it seems but you’ll love her reaction every time you do this.

I am 100 percent sure that It’s not “angry, furious, devil-will-definitely-cry” mad but the “cutesy” love that every male likes.
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Tuesday, 6 April 2010

75, 50 and eww… 25 (the hotness levels regarding 3-on-3 dates)


When I was barely out of college, my cousins went to a place called Padi’s Point Calamba to hunt chicks. My cousin acquainted us to three women, one of whom is his lovemonkey (for lack of better term). Taking one for the team was the responsibility of my other cousin because I scrapped and scuffled to wiggle away from the sights of the ugly chick.

I got the 50 percent attractive girl… in that 3-girl group. Yes… ONLY in that group.

Hence the title!

Fact is, just because jugs were presented wholeheartedly (or lack thereof), this doesn’t mean that you have to think of it as a gift. During 3-on-3’s the most likely victor is the person that can play arbiter to both parties. One of my biggest turn-offs is icky speech patterns either presented via the rural-ness of the person or a chimp trying to learn how to talk. The guy that got the 75 was angry at me for not having the balls and the stomach to score the bitch but hey, honestly it was like seducing a wet Doberman. My “dissention” meanwhile helped the guy that got the 25 percent because no matter how strong his beer is, the stigma of that face doing devious acts on his face seemed very wrong.

No soap can pull the shame off.

When only one of the three people involved will actually have fun, a domino effect could ensue or the OK party could cut his ties then and there. Just because you don’t have a monster for a date that doesn’t mean you have to leave your 75. So is the 75, 50, 25 face range bad for 3-on-3’s? Not really if you think about it. You just have to make sure that the 25 is actually 6/10 in the hotness scale and not a 2/10 that you’ll probably more or less encounter.

If the 50 is a 2/10, you need to punch the guy that had the 75 in the face because only kamikaze pilots or gravely-ill patients would agree to be put in such quandary.

Word of advice: Just be lucky in the luck of the draw.
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Monday, 5 April 2010

The morning breath is the morning’s glory!


The ickier your breath smells, the more they’ll want to eat you.

Couples, with the exemption of the married and those that are living together (basically these are the couples that had gone sick looking at each other), rarely get the chance to sleep with each other. Sure, you can actually try your best impersonation of air to wrestle out of her cudgels but when she wakes up and you’re not there, you’ll wreck the moment… all because you want to brush.

Honestly it’s not like your breath reeks like a family of dead rats when you wake up because frankly… no human being has the scent of freshly-picked flowers at the hint of sunrise. You can brush that away before sleeping but consider the events before you sleep… and spoon. Let’s face facts here: regardless on how you planned your rendezvous you have to remember that the events that would make you sleep together are spontaneous, risky, romantic, and always-promising. Will you risk veering away from a snuggle just to slime your toothbrush with a minty-fresh gel?

Well, you could risk acting girly and very hygienic by brushing after sex so when you wake up there is a semblance of menthol surrounding your gums but the confident ones… I MEAN THE MANLY, BEER-GUZZLING, BITCH-HUNTING, DEVIL MAY CARE BASTARDS will absolutely, beyond the shadow of doubt, unleash the animalistic tendencies they possess WITH CLEANLINESS AND SANITATION THE LEAST OF THEIR WORRIES!

SO imagine this scenario: both of you waking up glad to be in the arms of one another saying sweet nothings, planning anew… and all of a sudden… BLAM!

Do you honestly believe that how your breath smells matter at this point?
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Hide Your Damn Filth!


Regardless of how you think, don’t you ever expect your woman to enjoy your dirty crap! Sure, they expect you to have them and they’ll sometimes think that your collection is cool (unless it is sticky or your room smells like bleach), but just because they embrace them that doesn’t mean you have to flaunt it in front of them!

And by the way, OPEN YOUR WINDOW TO LET OUT THAT SMELL!

Ehem.

Women as explained earlier in this blog are crazy beings that aim to destroy the psyche of men! Imagine their reaction when you enjoy looking at other women instead of them. Either they’ll think you don’t like them anymore or these paraphernalia would get them insecure. Here’s an analogy for you: a new cuddly puppy and your pet Doberman that you don’t put on a leash. What happens when the Doberman gets envious?

CANNABALISM!

Girls are kind of like that but instead of biting on your porn, their aim is to tear you down! One minute they’ll drool on how hot Olivia Wilde is, the next moment they’ll performing an earful in the side of your skull on how perverted you are... and this is not the good version. Reading a confession session could give you an edge to those you don’t kiss but for someone you actually do, you’re playing inside the wrong side of the spectrum. Has the words “I am not like the women in your videos/mags/JPEGS you jack off every time” mean anything to you? I haven’t encountered a GF that would burn my men’s mags or trash my CD’s and DVD’s (even VHS) but I heard tales of epic battles that started because of these weapons for mass-turbation.

If your girl loves what they’re seeing, this might actually be a bad thing because this means your girl has a tendency to get adventurous. And honestly, even the sleaziest of women will find it offensive if you prefer someone else’s jugs over theirs. Regardless of print, TV, or online, let these forms of pleasure be exclusive only to your boy talk!
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Wednesday, 31 March 2010

Rubbing Alcohol is Dangerous for your Relationship?


You heard it. You’d probably experienced it. Deep inside, you never thought it would be a big deal until it happened to you. There is a reason why men do not have a beauty kit in their bag and that’s because carrying these things could cause major chaos on your relationship.

Here’s an example:

You have a girlfriend. Unfortunately, she’s sick. Despite that, she agreed to go out with you. Sure, she sneezes and coughs, but she wants to be happy and that’s why she’s with you. Men have the right to be happy when this happens (unless the girl is cranky). In return, men should act with the 3 C’s – caring, considerate and charming (they were the first adjectives that crossed my mind) towards their sick women.

This is where the alcohol kicks in.

All that coughing forced her to go to a convenience store to perhaps buy water, fruit drinks, or medicines. While she is buying, you suddenly grabbed rubbing alcohol (worse, hand sanitizer) and handed it to the cashier. She’ll look at you with conviction and WHAM, your date is over.

Interpretation: Grabbing that means you find your chick icky. Sure, you could give that to her as precaution but girls will feel that as humiliating. And if you bought that for yourself, you just made it worse. Regardless of how and when you’ll use that, it is either “he’ll apply that solution AFTER we part ways” or “he saw my situation and he wants none of it which basically means I for him is a living precautionary measure”.

Regardless how unafraid you are to hold hands with her, embrace her, and kiss her while she’s sneezing her brains out, making her think of herself as an ecosystem of bacteria will destroy your lovey-doveyness.
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When Work Gets on the Way


Your date gets postponed because your girl is stuck at work.

Who’s to blame?

That would be you... if you make a big deal out of it.

There is a fine line between making “love” and making money. Not unless you are some sort of sultan of an oil-rich country will you have the power to abduct her from the thing that pains her the most. Admit it, your salary might be less than hers so asking her to ditch work over you is stupid... even if she loves you. Everyone has had their share of disappointments but get this: if that person cares about you she’ll surely suffer from guilt... even if it is not her fault that she had to double her working hours. The next thing you know, she’ll be buying you a new shirt... or treating you to an awesome dinner. Maybe a movie, a drink, or something cool you have been yearning.

The only thing I’m trying to say here is that the patient ones get lucky.

Agree to disagree?
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Friday, 26 March 2010

How to Program your Lover


Whether it’s your girlfriend or a plain friend, getting that person to the “program” is a must. This is simply a form of brainwashing to suit your preferences. For example, you hate movies that star Angelina Jolie. Even if your GF likes a particular Angelina Jolie flick, she’ll think twice watching it with you.

The programming starts on your first one-on-one conversation with each other. This is the part that you sure as hell don’t know much about the other and vice versa. The only way your mouths could move... is by saying stuffs to give you the edge on her. This is where the trick starts.

You supply various facts THAT SHE WILL FIND AMUSING. Loving kittens because they are cuddly is nice but loving kittens because a kitten once saved your life from the brink of catastrophe is cool... and at the same time unforgettable.

Using this properly should give you power. As such is this example, where even if you hate going out on Sundays, you surprise her at her house on that day to share a romantic bond with her or perhaps with her family. This sudden revolt from the norm should intensify that feat.

However, this is not a one-way street. For some insane reason, you are also currently under their wicked spell. The most obvious programming women have given to men is that during their periods, you need to STAY AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE. When they act like a heinous bitch, it is not them talking but their PMS.

Of course, women exaggerate this. But I am betting none of the guys would dare accuse their women of such.
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Thursday, 25 March 2010

The Scary Virgin Age Where doing them means either MATRIMONY or ABSOLUTE PAIN!


I believe in an infallible theory that there are no hot virgins aged 25 and above (my theory should have been 23 and above, but I decided to grant leeway for the benefit of other cultures). I will stand by this rule. The only virgins you see above the “virginal” limit are either very ugly or the types that would likely die an old maid (or would probably marry the first dick that attempts to pursue them in their mid-30’s). Living like an old maid means that the girl might hate men, overly loves women, is overly responsible, or they have yet to lower their expectations.

Returning to the topic, those that prolonged their virginity are trying to find Mr. Right. As the years go by Mr. Right is moving to the realm of Mr. Random Guy... or handsomeguy_1973. When they do find Mr. Right, they fall on the “devil-may-care-but-I-extremely-love-this-guy-route” which is layman’s terms for “damn you, you will never leave me because I will turn psychobitch on your sorry ass to the point you’ll regret hooking up with me on the first place” mode.

Question: Do men love suffocation?

Answer: No.

So imagine these girls’ psyche when you de-virginize them?

Here’s a bracket to further widen your thinking:

0 – 10 years old: I don’t even want to grade this part. As far as I know, this is a crime.
11 – 15 years old: This is a totally normal de-virginizing age... you live inside a jungle.
16 – 20 years old: This is where you get your first. This is also the time you regret on doing your first.
21 – 25 years old: This is when you finished your studies; you finally got the go signal from your parents to live like an adult, you create things that may seem important in today’s society, and this is the perfect time to check out the field.
26 – 30 years old: THE START OF THE DANGER ZONE. Apparently, this is the age the girls that didn’t hook up during the 21-25 period, cram. Unfortunately, success has taken its toll on their faces. The sleepless nights doing paperwork has taken its toll on their beauty regimen. Their face has become so used to makeup that without it they look like a zombie. Their manner of speech has become intimidating and going to clubs is like understanding another culture. Still, your expectation on your first is too high that none of the guys you date stand a chance against you.
31 to 35 years old: You look at your college yearbook and check out all the guys that had a crush on you. All thoughts of your dream guy have lowered. However, come age comes heightened understanding regarding dignity. There will still be guys interested but you cringe at the humiliation.

I don’t want to add more brackets because it seems so sad.

Most likely, what I’m saying is some sort of wild thought that spawned in my brain.

Right?
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Control Your Mouth


It seems like there some sort of madness that’s about to erupt on your relationship. You’re extremely pissed and you are about to embark on a first of many negative reactions.

Before you tell, nay screeeeeeeeaaaaaaam at your beau telling her you do not deserve the silent treatment and the not-so-understandable bitchiness... DON’T. Women, as programmed by our forefathers, are crazy. Just when you think they are going to go “amazon” on your fat ass, they all of a sudden give you a slew of niceness (this is basically the start of Make Up Sex).

Women never seize to amaze me. Their ability to morph their emotions in a rapid pace is a scientific mystery. You have to hand it to them. When men try to pull off this shit they end up doing it badly. We test this all the time with our mothers and while our fathers seem to understand us, it’s hard for them to even try.

Before we unleash a 487-hit combo of hurtful actions and words, men should at least allow a couple of seconds worth of pondering.

This interlude could give you pain... or pleasure.

Your choice.
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Wednesday, 17 March 2010

The Art of Crumpling Paper


Here’s something I learned.

Is your number attracting a lot of negative vibes?

Negative vibes meaning annoying clients, bitchy girlfriends, and people you want to hide out because they are making you do ghastly favors?

When they ring your phone, answer it. They’ll rant or tell you something they think is appealing.

You get a piece of paper, shape it like a ball, and crumple it endlessly. Then feign that your phone is getting static noises, you’re in a tunnel, or the signal is breaking up.

Sure, this is lame but this actually works… but not all the time. I had a client call me a couple of hours later because I was eating out with my girl. While he thinks I am fine listening to his "situation" that only I could solve, I actually was pissed. I used the Crumpling Paper technique that bought me time to have a quiet dinner and the interval between that call and the next call lasted around two hours. Not much but not bad too.

If you need an excuse, a quick fix could be your under a lot of stress because you can’t talk now and you need to shit.

You are a man… it’s easy for you to act flatulent.
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Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Top Ten: How to know your show band (I mean rock band) sucks.


Each one of us wants to join a band. You are not a man if you haven’t air guitared to anything that makes you headbang and bounce around. Of course, you get lost along the way. Those who actually lived to play for a band might find themselves zoning out to the worst wing of band awesomeness…

SHOWBANDS!

Sure, some showbands are good but some showbands are crap. They merely sing the songs without taking out the hint of karaoke in it. Anyway, you might hand your guitar to an unsuspecting bystander and ask that person if he could bash your head if you all of a sudden happen to play these tunes week in and week out. Anyway, here are the symptoms.

10 You refer yourselves as a showband.
9 Your first set consists of Earth, Wind, and Fire songs while your last set consists of Bee Gees songs (If you’re Filipino… VST& Company).
8 Your getup is shiny.
7 Your retro songs are basically Don’t Call Me Baby, I’m Horny All Night Long, Michael Jackson music and songs “acoustic-ized” by Boyce Avenue.
6 Your hair is well-groomed and you dance the stage but not like Mick Jagger or Steven Tyler but like Adam Lambert.
5 You sing the falsetto, joining the female backup singers, as well as the rap part of the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Love Rollercoaster.
4 You often do a song mellow every now and then and it’s either a random R and B song… or David Cook’s Always Be My Baby.
3 You are known in your day job as the guy that sings Dancing Queen.
2 People can hear you singing Pokerface, Love Story, a random Black Eyed Peas song of the past (because you have yet to perfect their current hits) and Jai Ho.
1 You are scared to play in an actual rock bar because people might kill you.

I’m just kidding… being part of any band is cool. Don’t sell yourself out if you think that the rock gods spite you. All you need is awesomeness to pull off what you’re doing.

And maybe, just maybe, you can become the first show band that doesn’t look gay.
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How to use an unusable person so that your group thesis would get a perfect score.


When I was in college my friends and I were partnered up with a loner for our thesis. This person had her boyfriend tagging around with us everywhere we go. We hate it when the person and her BF get all mushy.

One day, we were at our adviser’s office to have our thesis checked when this person all of a sudden cried. This person got us in trouble by telling the prof she’s not getting any of the action. While we were open to suggestions, her suggestions… were basic and safe while the rest of the group wanted to stand out and NOT look normal. Our prof then demanded us to let her join the “fun”. We agreed… after me and my groupmates shouted and spurted foul language in our campus corridor. Being the guy that rarely gets pissed; I decided to “use” the person to our advantage. Since she’s the “obsessive-compulsive” type, we gave her all the data that we researched and she typed them. She facilitated our focus group discussions which she loved and we loathe (acting nice to people I don’t know is rarely in my vocabulary). Whenever we needed money, we’ll ask her FIRST and she’ll pretty much shoulder the budget (OC’s prefer to act important and most individuals hate shelling out huge chunks of money). We used her boyfriend as our errand guy and the more we used him to our advantage, the less visible he became which pretty much cured their over-mushiness.

The end result? We got a perfect score in our thesis.

The moral lesson: If you don’t want a person to destroy your plans, slave him/her to do things you don’t want to do.
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Monday, 15 March 2010

The three most important places you needed to put man-perfume on


I guess you already know this but for those that don’t…

There are only three important places you needed to put man-perfume on.

Ranking first is the neck area since you’re hoping your scent attracts the opposite gender enough to lip-wrestle with you.

The other most important part to instill scent is at the wrists. Yes, that dainty, hopefully un-hairy part of your arms must have a concoction of happy odor at all times because you’ll use this part to wrap around your lover during romantic moments. When you wrap around your arms on your date, the neck and the wrists act like an aphrodisiac IN STEREO!

This sets up the third most-important part to spray.

What is it? I believe you should know THAT by now.

Hopefully you’ll have the sense to not spray it directly to that area to not have “burning sensations”.
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Saturday, 13 March 2010

How to Have Three or More Seats in a Cinema House even if you only Bought 2 Tickets


Unlike the yesteryears, you now need to reserve seats in order to watch a movie. Gone were the days when you can enter the theater in the middle of a screening. That is why you need to plan where you will be sitting.

The trick is simple. First, you need to fall in line and buy a ticket. Then, when it’s your turn, you check out the seats. Regardless of whether or not the cinema house has an aisle, if you want to be alone don’t pick the center spots. I’m not saying it will not work by sitting in the middle but I’m just saying that it’s difficult to space it that way. I’m also washing my hands if this is an I-Max Theatre or a very popular movie playing around the AFTERNOON because the number of people inside might make or break you in successfully doing this equation.

You see, this is meant for you to have a free reign on the events that might or could happen inside the movie theater. Sure, you’ll watch the movie with that sole intent but what if there could be more?

Don’t you want more?

Anyway, a typical cinema house consists of 30 to 40 seats horizontally! HORIZONTALLY! This is the magic word here! If let’s say, a couple would claim the seats A1 and A2, A3 and A4, A5 and A6, and so on and so forth, then there will be 20 couples seating pretty and brushing elbows watching the same movie. But how bout you take… let’s say A38 and A39…

Who in their right mind would sit in A40? This would probably free A37 as well… not unless the moviegoers sitting there is from a pack of three or more.

Watching alone? It’s sad to even think that there is a person who likes to watch movies in a movie theater alone. This person might not know about DVD’s.

If this was a box-office bomb, this will not matter and you’ll probably make out openly without strangers checking you out. However if this is a popular flick, then you’ll find it hard to make out… but at least you won’t put your bag in the movie theatre’s very sticky floor!

Well not unless the person who would sit in that spot is a creepy guy who loves to do “solo” acts in public places.
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Friday, 12 March 2010

Get Her Safe... Mentally


If you don’t own a car, you have no choice but to let your date travel on a cab. When it’s time to say goodbye, it pains you to get her home if your houses are in two different time zones. But news flash, Mr. Smarty Pants because girls… aren’t that naïve and weak! Sure, they’ll want to enter their house with your face sticking out googly-eyed like a very cute doberman but they know we guys are goddamn too cheap to ride a cab to their house where the fare will be quadruple the normal travel fare.

The best way to get her safe without hassles is take her to a neutral zone where there are a bunch of taxis you actually trust (pick those popular taxi brand because they seriously value customer satisfaction). When she rides the cab, you wait for her to leave and as she travel, you text the plate number of the cab and say “Have a safe trip”. You need to check her constantly especially if she’s sleepy or wasted… and when you go home, you inform her.

She’ll probably arrive ahead of you since she rode a taxi and you waited for the cheapest transportation available.

Regardless of what you think, your lady will value this. It’s kinda your fault why it had to be this way because you have no money to own a car.

At least your girl is not blaming you for it.
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The Art of Letting Go


This applies in everything in general. Making things linger makes it even harder to give up. But for the sake of your sanity, among other things, you need to take this out of your system.

Right here, right now.

Quick and heartless… plain and simple.

I’m not talking about romance or anything…

I’m actually talking about VICES.

The best way to kick off the habit is to drop it then and there. However, this is easier said and done. I’d bet none of you asses can break a habit for about a week. This is because you’re thinking that what you’re doing is like a New Year’s Resolution. That shit will never work because we were trained to never make New Year’s Resolutions work! One suggestion is to create a crazy scenario to propel you from achieving what you’re set to accomplish. I call this the “Lesser Evil Approach”.

When I gave up smoking because I had a bout with pneumonia, I said to myself that “I will temporarily stop smoking and eventually I will return”.

I haven’t smoked a cigarette for almost nine months now.

When I gave up going to strip joints, I told myself I will continue to happily look at a naked woman but I will never let myself PAY to look at a naked woman.

It’s been over a year since I’ve been to a strip joint.

Get my drift?

I have yet to give up boozing.

Dammit, as if that’s going to happen.
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The Touch Therapy Theory


This refers to a guy showing affection to a girl through touch. A more scientific term for this is “physical communication”. This is an important part of intimacy because it lets the girl “feel” you. You can talk to your friends… but why the hell should you grope them??? Here, you separate the hot chicks you want to aim and maim from your other female friends that you revere.

We live in world where being touchy means having a life. That is why online romances and long distance relationships are laughable. You can ping, LOL, and smiley face all you want but the online world will always be fake.

Touch Therapy works well in acting like a harmful friend (a harmful friend refers to the guy you think likes you but all he says are mere hints). This is important because you can ditch the whole courtship process altogether once you do this perfectly. In a school or office setup, touching her anywhere every time you see her will condition the woman of your presence. You don’t need to touch her lovingly. A nudge in the arm or a slight ravage of the hair is enough to get her attention. Just like a dog claiming a reward after perfecting a difficult trick, she’ll get comfortable with your touches. With the right mix of touching and conversation, you’ll attain more.

This will only work though if the “subject” has already been programmed extensively. You need to create a timetable on how and when you’ll do this. You’ll find time mapping very tricky. You must find out if what you’re doing is enough… or too much. Not having enough means an uneasy working environment. Having too much time doing the touching means you might have “expired” your chances to own her.

The other great thing about Touch Therapy is that this is not a skill made exclusive for girl-crazy men.

For all the single people, YES, this is the time to check out every hot woman near you!
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Thursday, 11 March 2010

How can a man win a lovers quarrel?


First of all, unless it is academic, you will never win. Even if it’s academic, the guilt she’ll give you for making the argument in the first place will haunt you. Chivalry is not dead. We are just “attempting” to forget its existence. We have to let women win because:

a) They have the ability to break up with you and people will still side with them.
b) There is no Letter B.
c) Men get emotional during quarrels that they can resort to touching which if not handled properly could lead to violence.
d) If you let her win, it usually leads to making out but if you let yourself win, you’ll probably romance yourself FOR A NUMBER OF WEEKS!

However, for some insane reason, planet earth has been spawning A LOT of understanding women. This current breed has the ability to withstand simple understandings and be open-minded to the yearnings of men. We love these kinds of women because men have the tendency to like things that understand our psyche.

Be wary of these types though. They understand you for a reason. If they don’t mind your addiction to video games, it’s just because they are addicted with shopping. So if she allows you to womanize, then she’ll probably…

You know where I’m getting at, right?

Stereotypically, men desire the physical aspect of love while the women salivate on the emotional side. Once the woman has worn out of your dumb antics, (forgetting her birthday, always begging for sex, etc.) she’ll beat you senseless… and leave you clueless.

That’s hard.

Do you still want to win?
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Eating in Expensive Places Alone is GAY!


Don’t consider yourself as a man if you like to eat in expensive places… alone. Yes, “alone” is the key word here. Eating in high-end places is meant only to show off and act rich. Even rich people resort to fast food joints to quench their appetites. Unless there is no other alternative, do not consider yourself as a man.

However, there are exceptions to the rule. James Bond never had a buddy when he shows up on functions. Eating alone is synonymous to pimping yourself. You just need to pimp yourself to the right people.

How would you know you’re attracting the right people?

Your pants are bulking up on the zipper area… instead of theirs.
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Trademark


It’s easy to differentiate Coke from Pepsi… if they have their labels. Whether it’s an accessory, an attitude, a gesture, or a catchphrase, you need to have some ability or liability to make yourself stand out.

As a man, you need to use your trademarks as plus points. Even the gayest of trademarks can become manly given the right approach. So what if you play with your sister’s Barbie? You are just researching on how to become a pervert!

You can also invent your trademarks. With this you can become one great living urban legend. You are exposing your sad and pathetic life if you reveal this as false.

If people really think that your lie is real; make sure it stays that way.
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Pimping oneself


The first thing you need to learn is how to pimp yourself. How can you score chicks when the only peons that think you’re cool are those creatures with dicks! Take Adam Sandler for instance. Who ever thought the egg-headed stand-up could become a leading man? Of course, everyone near him thought he was talented. The persons near you should also feel that about you.

Geeks aren’t that disgusting now since they will eventually inherit the spoils of technology. There will still be jocks… and they’ll likely excel in sports or doing construction, call center and sales jobs (I wanted to write “army” but I don’t want to touch on that subject). Guys will still find women puzzling and we will continue to make them like our sports, porn, and lifestyle… much to their chagrin.

But one thing is certain: girls will like you for who you are and it’s in your hands if you want to be pleasing or annoying.
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About Us

What you’re about to see right now are my real-life experiences. I can’t say if my tips and theories work. That’s why you have the discretion to believe.

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