This is a rehash of my 2005 article posted on my Multiply site. Sure, it’s corny and you might find this un-funny but... give me a break for I’m mentally unstable.
Funny how I made this as a gag for my ex. This is my miser self checking out inexpensive gift suggestions. This is the updated version...
If you like what you see, good for you.
Just don’t expect to get some.
10 Give her a rock with the words “I Love You” crudely painted over it. Even in this age, rocks can still work.
9 Give her any pirated DVD movie or series that doesn’t offend her. If you’re not the betting type, I can never go wrong with Superbook and Flying House.
8 Make her a poem... and then insert food with it. In my case, I have to find a way to place a two-piece fried chicken karaage meal with the poem.
7 Give her flours. No grammar police officers, I really mean flours. My GF likes to bake stuffs...
6 Give her healing patches, ointments, and medicinal creams. Especially when her back is aching with all the baking. You can never go wrong with remedies.
5 Give her office supplies. Give her a notebook, a puncher, a stapler, a mousepad or anything that she can see in her desk that will remind her that you spent 15 minutes of your time inside a bookstore.
4 Give her petroleum jelly... especially for the lips because studies show that this is better than chopstick. What were you thinking?
3 Give her a bunch of heart-shaped Mentos chewable candy. Give her many flavors and colors to choose from. You can achieve the heart-shaped parts by eating the edges.
2 Give her anything that graced your hand. Pack it wonderfully (and in some cases just making it glisten) and that should do the trick.
1 Give her a hug, a kiss, and shout the words “I Love You” part in front of everyone. The cuter you do this the more she’ll forget that you didn’t get her anything... or the fact that you are very, very poor.
I doubt if she’ll look at you as the twin brother of Zac Efron (that is why I didn't put your naked picture as a possible gift suggestion)... but this is better than getting looked at in a pretty putrid manner.
Game over.
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