Friday 6 May 2011

Top Ten: Worst Celebrity Crush Conversation Starters



This is a rehash of my 2005 article posted on my Multiply site. Sure, it’s corny and you might find this un-funny but... give me a break for I’m mentally unstable.

Imagine if you’re stuck in an elevator with your showbiz crush?

It can be an awkward moment... especially if you look like a crazed maniac.

But what will you do when the situation arises that you need to speak to each other to shield your selves from further panic?

Or better yet... what can you NOT say to further induce panic?


10 I had a wet dream about you once...

9 Would you like to do with a non-celebrity?

8 I don’t really think you’re a good actress but at least you’re wonderful to look at.

7 You looked so nice then. Why did you let yourself go!?!

6 I received an email of you once. Was that Adobe Photoshopped or you were too drunk to remember that night?

5 Media taught me that actresses are either dumb or horny. I wish you were both.

4 Just curious... but did it ever occur to you that breast exposures are career boosters?

3 Wow you’re in the business for more than three years now and all you do are supporting roles. You should go back to school, or get impregnated, or migrate, or start a business! That’s what I call fallback!

2 (to the girl) I just realized that you looked a lot like my ex-girlfriend.

1 (to the girl) I just realized that you looked a lot like my ex-boyfriend.



If this you said this and you didn’t get slapped, she didn’t have you arrested, or she didn’t kick your balls with extreme gusto, then you might have other things that you can add.

Contribute!

Game over.

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What you’re about to see right now are my real-life experiences. I can’t say if my tips and theories work. That’s why you have the discretion to believe.

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