I believe in an infallible theory that there are no hot virgins aged 25 and above (my theory should have been 23 and above, but I decided to grant leeway for the benefit of other cultures). I will stand by this rule. The only virgins you see above the “virginal” limit are either very ugly or the types that would likely die an old maid (or would probably marry the first dick that attempts to pursue them in their mid-30’s). Living like an old maid means that the girl might hate men, overly loves women, is overly responsible, or they have yet to lower their expectations.
Returning to the topic, those that prolonged their virginity are trying to find Mr. Right. As the years go by Mr. Right is moving to the realm of Mr. Random Guy... or handsomeguy_1973. When they do find Mr. Right, they fall on the “devil-may-care-but-I-extremely-love-this-guy-route” which is layman’s terms for “damn you, you will never leave me because I will turn psychobitch on your sorry ass to the point you’ll regret hooking up with me on the first place” mode.
Question: Do men love suffocation?
Answer: No.
So imagine these girls’ psyche when you de-virginize them?
Here’s a bracket to further widen your thinking:
0 – 10 years old: I don’t even want to grade this part. As far as I know, this is a crime.
11 – 15 years old: This is a totally normal de-virginizing age... you live inside a jungle.
16 – 20 years old: This is where you get your first. This is also the time you regret on doing your first.
21 – 25 years old: This is when you finished your studies; you finally got the go signal from your parents to live like an adult, you create things that may seem important in today’s society, and this is the perfect time to check out the field.
26 – 30 years old: THE START OF THE DANGER ZONE. Apparently, this is the age the girls that didn’t hook up during the 21-25 period, cram. Unfortunately, success has taken its toll on their faces. The sleepless nights doing paperwork has taken its toll on their beauty regimen. Their face has become so used to makeup that without it they look like a zombie. Their manner of speech has become intimidating and going to clubs is like understanding another culture. Still, your expectation on your first is too high that none of the guys you date stand a chance against you.
31 to 35 years old: You look at your college yearbook and check out all the guys that had a crush on you. All thoughts of your dream guy have lowered. However, come age comes heightened understanding regarding dignity. There will still be guys interested but you cringe at the humiliation.
I don’t want to add more brackets because it seems so sad.
Most likely, what I’m saying is some sort of wild thought that spawned in my brain.
Right?
Returning to the topic, those that prolonged their virginity are trying to find Mr. Right. As the years go by Mr. Right is moving to the realm of Mr. Random Guy... or handsomeguy_1973. When they do find Mr. Right, they fall on the “devil-may-care-but-I-extremely-love-this-guy-route” which is layman’s terms for “damn you, you will never leave me because I will turn psychobitch on your sorry ass to the point you’ll regret hooking up with me on the first place” mode.
Question: Do men love suffocation?
Answer: No.
So imagine these girls’ psyche when you de-virginize them?
Here’s a bracket to further widen your thinking:
0 – 10 years old: I don’t even want to grade this part. As far as I know, this is a crime.
11 – 15 years old: This is a totally normal de-virginizing age... you live inside a jungle.
16 – 20 years old: This is where you get your first. This is also the time you regret on doing your first.
21 – 25 years old: This is when you finished your studies; you finally got the go signal from your parents to live like an adult, you create things that may seem important in today’s society, and this is the perfect time to check out the field.
26 – 30 years old: THE START OF THE DANGER ZONE. Apparently, this is the age the girls that didn’t hook up during the 21-25 period, cram. Unfortunately, success has taken its toll on their faces. The sleepless nights doing paperwork has taken its toll on their beauty regimen. Their face has become so used to makeup that without it they look like a zombie. Their manner of speech has become intimidating and going to clubs is like understanding another culture. Still, your expectation on your first is too high that none of the guys you date stand a chance against you.
31 to 35 years old: You look at your college yearbook and check out all the guys that had a crush on you. All thoughts of your dream guy have lowered. However, come age comes heightened understanding regarding dignity. There will still be guys interested but you cringe at the humiliation.
I don’t want to add more brackets because it seems so sad.
Most likely, what I’m saying is some sort of wild thought that spawned in my brain.
Right?
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